


heaven and hell

by purplespeaknow



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, dont be like this folks, very immoral, very unethical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:47:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28093392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplespeaknow/pseuds/purplespeaknow
Summary: Bora thinks Siyeon is both heaven and hell.Heaven because of the pure bliss Bora had from being with her.Hell because no matter how much she wants to, Bora can't love her.
Relationships: Kim Bora | SuA/Lee Siyeon
Comments: 19
Kudos: 52





	heaven and hell

**Author's Note:**

> forgive me for any mistakes I'm very sleepy but my brain won't let me sleep until I finished this

Bora traces the small freckles on Siyeon's naked back as if she's trying to memorise each and every speck of it. Softly tracing with her delicate fingers, connecting the spots as if she's connecting the stars in the constellation. 

In this room of hers, where they both could really be together. Making love, whispering sweet nothings to each other. These four walls have become the witness of their relationship for the past 6 months. 

Bora hugs Siyeon closer, feeling comfortable and warm with Siyeon in her embrace. Bora can hear Siyeon's steady breath hitches when she softly kisses her neck. 

Siyeon turns to face her, her blonde hair frames her face perfectly. Siyeon smiles as she takes Bora's hand in hers. 

"Hi," Siyeon kisses her hand before letting it rest on her cheek. 

"Hi, sorry I woke you up. You must be feeling pretty tired," Bora tries to sound apologetic, though she can't hide the smirk that formed on her face. 

Siyeon chuckles at the implication, "Yeah I was exhausted, I couldn't keep up with your… stamina."

Siyeon looks into Bora's eyes, and all Bora wants to do is to melt into the younger's touch. To give everything to her. Siyeon has that effect on her. 

"What were you thinking, by the way? I could hear the gears turning in your head. It was pretty loud, not gonna lie."

Bora moves the few strands of Siyeon's hair aside, not wanting it to cover her pretty face. She cups Siyeon's face in her hands and closes the gap between them, kissing her softly. 

"I was thinking… just how perfect you are," she tells Siyeon. 

"I love you," Siyeon blurts out the three words, and all Bora wants to do is to say it back. To say that she loves her too. She wants to scream it out.

But what comes out from her mouth is, "You don't mean that," Bora says as she pushes Siyeon slightly, trying to create a gap between them. 

"I really do!" the younger girl tries to convince her. "Don't you feel the same way, Bora?" 

"Siyeon, you can't ask me that. It's not fair… It's not fair to me, and to her." 

"But I love you…” Siyeon says it again and Bora can’t bring herself to hear it again. “I'm going to break the engagement with her," Siyeon says it like it’s the easiest thing ever. And it scares Bora. Because it shouldn’t be like this. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It’s not supposed to go this far. No, this wasn’t supposed to happen at all.

"Siyeon, no! The wedding is in two months! You can't do that to Minji. I-- I can't do that to Minji…" her voice gets quieter.

Minji, her best friend. Minji, her friend who shared the same dream to make it big in Seoul. Minji, who is the kindest human in her life. Minji, Minji -- _god that poor soul. What have I done?_

Bora gets down from her bed and picks her t-shirt on the floor, a reminder of what happened earlier.

"I think you should leave," Bora says as she wears the oversized t-shirt and walks out of the room, leaving naked Siyeon on her bed alone. 

Siyeon does the same as Bora and runs to the living room. 

"Bora, I love you! Falling in love with you isn't a crime!" 

"Siyeon, please stop. What we had wasn't love, Siyeon. That was purely lust! You-- you love Minji, not me. Just forget about me, we can't be together." 

Siyeon scoffs at Bora, "So you're feeling guilty now? You didn't say anything when you first kissed me in that bathroom, in my own house. Where Minji was just outside. Where's that guilt?" 

"That's why we have to end this now."

"So you want your best friend to be in a marriage where her wife doesn't even love her anymore? And you want me to marry her when all I could think about is you. Is that what you want?" 

"She loves you, Siyeon. And, you love her too…" Bora is not sure if she’s trying to convince Siyeon or herself.

"You're just saying that because you don't want to be the woman who ruined her best friend's relationship. You're so selfish."

"Maybe that's the best thing… To be selfish." What a nonsense, even Bora thinks it's ridiculous. 

"We'll talk about this tomorrow," Siyeon goes back into the bedroom to collect her stuff and storms out Bora's house, slamming the door as she left. 

Bora sits on the floor of her living room. Hugging her knees, staring at the black screen of her TV. 

Bora thought she would feel relief, she thought she would finally be at ease, to be able to say all of that to Siyeon. But all she feels right now is… _emptiness_. She feels nothing. Empty. 

She ruined everything. Her friendship with Minji was long gone when she decided to kiss Siyeon. Minji would be so heartbroken when she found out about this. She can't face her anymore, not after this. She can't face Siyeon. Not only she will hurt her own feelings, but Siyeon will be hurt too. 

Bora wonders if things would happen differently if she met Siyeon first, or if she didn't push Siyeon into that bathroom and kiss her. 

No matter how much she loves Siyeon, Siyeon is not hers. And this relationship shouldn't happen in the first place. God, it's not even a relationship, it's an affair. 

She needs to get away from their lives. Get away from this place. Bora doesn't deserve to be in their lives anymore. 

With the last strength left in her, she gets up and walks to her study room, where her laptop at. 

After one hour of browsing, Bora bought the ticket. A one-way flight ticket to the farthest place. Away from Minji, away from Siyeon. And she's leaving tomorrow. She can't do this any longer, the guilt is eating her up. 

There she goes, doing the best she could do. 

Running away like a coward. 


End file.
